Voiceless conversations

- I have, on so many levels thought about you, and unable to distract my soul from uncontrollably falling for you, I tried to consider us, but I failed..

-- if I had the choice, I wouldn't have considered you in million years, but the soul doesn't not belong to the mind, it overpass it, it connects with another soul and resides..And my soul was drawn to yours..If you could know, how much you mean to me, how much sense you make, how much trust I have for you or the faith I have about us, you would realize how many times the status quo kills me everyday...I see in you the family I want

- I don't see in you mine, but I can't help not to relate a lot to you, without you knowing or me allowing it, you changed me, you changed how I look to a lot of things, what I want from many others and infected me with a lot of your beliefs..So to protect myself I had to rush in another relationship

-- I had a stupid conviction that deep inside you, there is that person who want more than an ordinary life, a life that has nothing but steady worldly gain and temporary happiness. I always thought that you have the potential to be up to something bigger than yourself and your needs and that little with which you shut up your sense of righteousness..I still see that for someone like you maybe it's not a luxury, it's an obligation, and I weep on that too, but I weep alone, I weep on people who are as good as yourself but set to lives as little as that..

- But I can't afford to have someone like you underneath me, someone I always have to stretch myself to be a match for, someone who would ripple my peace with her expectations and ambitious, someone who at a lot of times would ask me to break the norms and traditions and start improvising.. I want a life like the one I was raised up to, a calm nest where most of what I need to do is outside it

-- It always hurt me, how scared you were to try, how effortless you were to spare me your judgements and for the first time you made me agony for who I am, because although who I am is who I've wanted to be, but it was the reason why you rejected me

- I can no longer catch up even to this voiceless conversation, I've already found my comfort in keeping you without being involved..I might not want you as a partner but I sure would want you around maybe as a pretended frien. Yes I never gave you or myself the chance to pass my judgements into knowing you..but I'm secure with my conclusions

-- And I still wish...